By no means am I an artist. I painted this to somehow be able to explain a year that has been filled with #darkness and glimpses of the purest light I've ever allowed myself to behold.
Pain and heartbreak has a way of breaking us open, to birth a part of ourselves we would never know to exist otherwise. Like the girl in the painting, I felt lost, blinded and defeated. The only thing I had left was my faith and sheer will to somehow get up and accept myself right where I was. I trusted a source of light I never fully grasped because I had no other choice. I put down my sword because fighting no longer seemed to work.
I was forced to slow down and really feel what it means to suffer pain without anything to temporarily subside or numb it. I had to face myself in all my darkness and truth, just like all of us at some point have to. It's probably the hardest thing I've had to do and I've known chronic pain for a large part of my life. Along side that, I had to set new boundaries to give myself space to heal, and break relationships I truly loved. I put a lot on hold and realized the following in the process... 1.There's always time to make space for your healing and it's imperative!
2.By taking this time for yourself to heal, you make space for deeper and more loving relationships in your life
3.You help your surroundings heal by embarking on this process
4.Your present frustrations/disease is always a mirror of your childhood traumas. You can only ignore these for so long before you realize you keep attracting the same misfortunes and people in your life
5.Sometimes we need to walk away, even if it hurts the ones we love the most
6.Sometimes we need to claim defeat, even if it destroys our ego and pride
7.If you believe in abundance somehow you'll make ends meet
8.The most important thing is love and it's always there even when you feel you have lost everything
9.You are responsible for your own healing
10. It's an ongoing process
All of this is the only way to make space for love, healing and growth to truly touch your life. 💓❤️#trust#faith#healing#growth#motivation#selflove
I feel this photo Ive taken encapsulates the raw emotion I'm currently engulfed in. As I'm sure many of you have noticed I have not been on here as much. This is because someone I live with has got sticky fingers... so I've been dealing with stolen items lately. Not to mention daily disrespect by someone I thought was more trustworthy. I will overcome and grow stronger in having removed such a tumor. Cut them out with the knife they stab you in the back with..🔪 #photography#selfcare#darkness#anger#strength#overcome#blackandwhite#photoart#selfie#gothic#solumnhour
// i was in a really dark place in 2013, and thinking about how happy and content i am right now makes me reflect on how things were back then. i’m grateful for what that pain has taught me, and i’m thankful for the people who’ve played a part in getting me where i am now 🧡
That's the thing about me, I thrive in the darkness. I'm not the light kind of guy at all and have great comfort in that.
Darkness makes me feel better and a lot happier.
Besides that with people, if you can't understand me then that's your fault. Don't waste my time. I've wasted enough time with an ex and I don't intend on wasting my time on this planet again. 🖕